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How to edit 'waffle' from your writing Here is a back issue of Marketing Booster, the email newsletter that Richard Groom writes and sends free every fortnight to subscribers. You can subscribe here or read over 60 back issues using the back issues index page. It's a common problem. You write a piece of marketing campaign material, sit back and read it and realise that it's not punchy enough. You can't quite put your finger on why, but it's just, well, full of waffle. So here are five techniques to help you take that 1,000-word waffling brochure page down to a 500-word masterpiece of clarity and persuasiveness. * Technique one: set a word-count target and keep editing until you reach it. Often, I have to write client newsletters or other material where I know the maximum number of words possible. It's funny, but no matter how long my first draft, I can ALWAYS edit down until I get below the maximum words allowed. Why? Because I have to. So if you have written, say, a 500-word story for your customer newsletter and you know it could use some editing, set yourself a target of 250-words. Keep editing until you reach it. Believe me, you can do it. * Technique two: look at who or what you are writing about. In marketing writing, there are probably three main subjects you can write about: 1. your company, 2. your product and 3. your customers. Review what you've written and look at the balance between these three. In most cases, you want to write more about number three and less about number one. Look at the press, magazine and TV ads. Do they often waffle on about the company? No. They talk about the product and what it can do for the customer. As an example, I bought a new laser printer today. When I was making my choice, I didn't care much about who was selling it (as long as they looked reputable). I cared about what the printer could do and how it would make life easier for me. That's what I was looking for when visiting retailer's web sites. So if your writing waffles on about your company, set a target to reduce that content by 50 per cent, 75 per cent or more. UNLESS the company information really is a big selling point (which I doubt is true as often as many people think). * Technique three: ask the question 'does the reader care' about each and every sentence. Recently I wrote another edition of a client newsletter for a client company. The company is a legal firm and the newsletter contains some case studies. Usually, we include the name of the case in each story, eg 'John Smith vs Property Holdings plc'. But space was very tight in the last issue so I took out all mentions of the case names. Did it matter? Do their readers care? I think not. Maybe law students need to know the names of the cases, but business people just want to get to the point: what does the court's decision mean to me? What examples of 'I don't care' content are contained in your marketing materials? * Technique four: do a 'fog index' count. A fog index tells you how easily your writing is to read. You can use the results to edit your text to make it easier to read. This is good if you don't want to remove any words, but do want to improve readability. I don't have room here to explain the various methods BUT I have written a short guide on how to carry out a fog index check. Drop me a blank email with 'fog index' in the subject line and I'll email the guide to you. (This applies to readers of this article in the archive section of my web site too.) * Technique five: look out for the long words. If waffly writing is your problem, look at what you've written and identify all the long words. See of there are shorter alternatives. Eg: accordingly: so additional: more demonstrate: show optimum: best implement: do and so on. I hope that I've helped you if 'waffling' is your problem. Copyright 2003 Richard Groom |